Do you know a friend or a loved one whom completely sabotage their success?Of course, we all have. As a friend, we’re there on the sidelines trying to help them but they are so blind to their surroundings and so set in their ways that they are like a run away bus that nothing can slow down.
One of the first steps of changing for the better is becoming aware of what is going on, so let’s have a look at some of the common destructive beliefs that could cost you success in anything you do.
1. I don’t know what I want – People will always have a thing or two about you but in order to move forward, you have to learn to never let what other people expect from you dictate what you expect from yourself. The first step is to know exactly what you want for yourself. Being clear about your true desires is so liberating because you get to stop proving yourself to everyone.
2. I’ll take care of it later – Here is the truth. A lot of us are procrastinators and like to do things later. Although it worked in college, running a business is a totally different creature in this regards. Procrastination is definitely a bad habit. It simply encourages laziness. A lot of us do indeed have lives. But we have to find a good balance between finishing and accomplishing work and enjoying life. The easiest way not to procrastinate, is to do the task. Whatever it is. Just do it now. If you don’t have the urge to work on the task that you need to do, force it. Force it upon yourself to do it. Have a plan and a goal. Wake up each morning determined, so you can go to bed satisfied. Have the courage and discipline today to do what is needed instead of what is convenient.
3. Too much work – Did your mom told you life will be easy? If so then she made a mistake. Life is not always easy. Wishing for a situation to be easier without taking action usually just makes it more difficult. The most effective way to handle what must be done is to do it. Life can be easier by working through each challenge as it arises, persistently following through to the best of your ability. Make each challenge as an opportunity to create value and make a difference, and you’ll eventually get to wherever it is you hope to go. The best teacher in life does not come in booklet manual but practical work. It boils down to the old saying that practice makes perfect.
4. I don’t have the strength.
Stand up to your fear and obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they don’t have half the strength you think they have. The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. Even when you give it your best shot and you miss, it’s not a failure. Instead, it’s just another opportunity to step up to the plate and do it better next time. You are stronger than you think. Don’t give up. As a man thinks, so he is.
5. Someone else will solve my problems (especially in relationships).
The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. If you’re not comfortable enough with yourself or with your own truth when entering a relationship, then you’re not ready for that relationship. Because you are incapable of loving another unless you love yourself, just as you are incapable of teaching someone else something unless you yourself understand it.
6. I will never forgive!- Have you ever made a mistake or wrong someone. Did they forgave you? If so you have to forgive too. If you don’t, you will be hurt as much as the other person. It is like choosing to tie boulders to your ankles, which are way too heavy for your growing wings to carry. You don’t have to like them, you don’t have to be friends with them, you don’t have to spend time with them ever again, but you have to forgive them, to let go, to let it rest.
7. New direction or experiences are too risky – Have the willingness to feel the fear and do it anyway. It’s not the future that you need to be afraid of; it’s repeating the past that threatens your growth. Wouldn’t you rather attempt to do something great and learn a lesson, than attempt to do nothing and learn nothing for the rest of your life?
8. This is not for me, no matter the circumstances – There comes a point in your life when you realize that nothing will ever be the same, and you realize that from now on, time will be divided in two parts: before this and after this. But that’s okay. There’s no shame in starting over again, for you get a chance to rebuild things bigger and better than they ever were before, or reinvent yourself and do something you’ve always wanted to do.
9. Someday i’ll be happy if i suffer now – Maybe you think you’re entitled to more happiness in the future by forgoing all of it now, but it doesn’t work that way. Being happy takes as much practice as being unhappy. It’s by living with a smile that you smile more. By waiting you wait more. Every waiting day makes your lifetime as a whole a little less happy.
10. What if – I hear this a lot. Putting obstacles first even before taking the fist step. A lot of clients know that technology changes everything yet they stick to their old way of marketing their business and refuse to adopt the new way afraiding the what if’s. It is time to let go of worries and be open to new ideas. No one is promising the sky to fall but you’ll never know how cold the water is until you go swim in the pool.
Getting rid of the destructive beliefs above is possible, but you have to be determined to change.